Surpessed Feelings
by AmethystFlare3
Summary: After the confession, Helga moves away. Arnold disregards the confession, never confronting his feelings on it. He avoids thinking about it. Years go by and he is popular and succeeds in school. Now it's senior year and Helga is back and ready to enjoy her last year with her old classmates. What will come of her return? How will Arnold handle his avoided feelings & past?ON HIATUS..
1. Prolouge of the Past

**Hi dear readers! This is my first time ever writing a fanfic and I'm unsure if it will be any good or not. I am a frequent reader of fan fiction, especially HA stories! :) I would love your opinions on what I have so far so that I can decide whether or not to continue! So please read and review and let me know!**

** I do not own any of the characters or stories mentioned in this story. Those all belong to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon! Promise :)**

"_You heard me pal I love you! Love you! Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day, building shrines to you in a closest, filling volumes of books with poems about you? I love you Arnold I have always loved you, ever since I laid eyes on that stupid football head! And from that moment and every moment since I have lived and breathed for you, dreamed about the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings, could grab you and kiss you and...oh come here you big lug!"_

At that moment a very startled Arnold woke up shaking and sweating. This reoccurring dream has plagued his for years, ever since the end of his successful mission to save his neighborhood from the FTi's evil clutches.

Helga's confession. Everything he knew about her was turned upside down in an instant with those fateful words. Thankfully though, she moved away just weeks after that. He was relieved about never having to confront her about what she said and he never had to figure out his feelings about it. He pushed the confession into the back of his mind and began to focus on other aspects in his life. He joined clubs and excelled in school. As a quiet but steady leader he was quickly voted class president the minute he started Hillwood High School. Because of this position he quickly became more popular and even began dating a popular, beautiful, bubbly girl. Her name was Hannah. He will never forget the day he first met her.

Freshman year I was running late to class and I wasn't looking where I was going. I turned a corner too sharply and I heard himself say "Ow" as another more feminine sounding voice replied "Ow!"

I quickly got up, and reached my hand down to help the girl up as I exclaimed "I'm so sorry!" She then took his hand and giggling replied "It's no big deal. I'm Hannah by the way, what's your name?" I wanted to reply but I couldn't stop looking at her. She was short but petite; she had a small nose and long chestnut brown hair with bright blond highlights. Her smile was bright and it lit up her entire face including her striking green eyes. "I'm A-Arnold. Nice to meet y-you Hannah."

From that moment our friendship grew until we eventually decided to just date, Gerald was constantly bugging me about it after all. And who was I to chicken out and not take a shot? I asked her to their freshman Homecoming dance and sparks flew from there. Everything was great for three years of their lives. Being popular meant having lots of fun and lots of friends. Gerald and Phoebe were included in their friend group, especially because Gerald and Phoebe have been dating for years. I always envied their easy relationship with each other. My relationship with Hannah was not easy by any means. The first year was great, but the second and third years were hard. Yes we cared for each other but we had little in common and fought a lot. We had trouble choosing what to do for dates, who to be friends with, which classes we could take to have some time together etc. We really tried to keep things together, despite how many times we broke up and got back together over the last two years. We just wanted different things and had very different plans for the future. She desperately wanted to move to New York and become an Actor. Whereas I wanted to stay close to home and become a teacher or maybe a psychiatrist. Things just were going more and more downhill for us. I will never forget that fateful day, after the last day of school are junior year. We were at a party at Rhonda's house, and that's when everything I ever thought I knew about Hannah and about so called love was flipped upside down...

She cheated on me. I couldn't believe it. I was walking around looking for her when Gerald found me. I saw the look of pain in his eyes and I knew what he said next couldn't be good news. He couldn't seem to speak so he gestured for me to follow him, so I did. He led me to a dark room on the third floor of Rhonda's house. I looked into the room and saw Hannah on top of Curly shirtless, making out with him. My eyes went wide and I gasped. Hannah heard me and jumped off of him quickly. She tried to apologize but I wouldn't listen. She hurt me. She cheated on me. I felt like crap. I can't believe I trusted her. I can't believe I kept taking her back.

Now that leads Arnold to senior year...


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi guys! Thank you for the reviews and as promised, here is not one but TWO more chapters!:) Please read and review, it means the world to me:)**

The _italics _is a flashback/memory and the **bold **means a texting conversation

Chapter 1:

It's the night before the start of my senior year and I can't sleep. Am I nervous? Probably. Excited? Not really. Not anymore. It is my last year of high school, but I always used to picture it with Hannah by my side, walking her to class, writing her cute little notes, eating lunch with her, maybe even being on Prom court. Stupid Hannah...she is now nothing but my own personal heartbreaker. I still can't believe she cheated on me. After all we had been through..almost three years together and she blew it. It hurts now more than ever now that I know her 'reasons' behind her actions at that fateful party.

_FLASHBACK TIME_

_I remember finding a note taped to the outside of the door of Sunset Arms after I arrived home from work. Hmm.. Gerald wants me to meet him at the park at 5 to play catch? I glanced down at my watch seeing it was already 4:45. Looking back now the handwriting did seem a little off, but I was in such a rush to get my glove and ball and get to the park that I didn't stop to question the weird feeling I had when I first read the note. _

_I quickly rushed off to the park after saying goodbye to Grandpa who told me to have fun and be back by 7 for dinner. I walked up to our usual meeting place and suddenly, all color drained from my face and my blood went cold. Gerald was nowhere in sight, Hannah was the only one there. The park was deserted except for the one girl I had been doing my best to avoid since the party. She spotted me and immediately rushed over to me, grabbing my wrist as I was just about to make a run for it. I tried to pull away but in vain but she refused to let me go and tackled me to the ground. I was pinned and she was on top of me, there was no use, I couldn't escape. She waited for me to stop struggling as she looked at me with her bright green eyes going wide, begging for me to listen to her. She finally spoke with a hopeful tone in her voice saying, "Arnold please just hear me out okay? I'm sorry I tricked you into coming here, it was the only way I could think of to get you to agree to talk to me! Please just let me tell you what happened that night!"_

_ "You won't let me go until I listen to you will you?"_

_ "Nope!"_

_ Arnold grumbled and said, "Fine I'll listen but please get off of me?_

_ "Oh sure sorry, I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't run away from me!"_

_ "I wanted to" he mumbled under his breath, but luckily Hannah didn't hear him, or if she did, she chose to ignore it. _

_We stood up and sat on a nearby bench. "Alright...I'm listening"_

_She took a deep breath and began, "Look, I know I messed up! I'm sorry okay? I love you it's just you are so innocent! You never want to do more than cuddling or making out! We have been dating since freshman year and we have been doing the same things when we hang out since then! I was hoping you would open up and want to try more than just making out! I'm curious to try more...why aren't you? Everytime I try to do something more, you move away or stop me and then pretend like nothing happened. Curly feels the same curiosity as me, we want to find someone who loves us and actually proves that they do! And I'm mad that a lot of the time when we would be kissing, you didn't even seem into it! I know you are a daydreamer but still! I feel like you would rather be somewhere else and that hurts. So although I do feel bad that I cheated on you, I also don't regret it. You won't give me what I want and you hurt me already...so I don't regret it as much as I probably should. You always say you love me, but you never prove it anyways. How do you think that makes me feel?" At this point tears were falling down her cheeks and mixing with the light rain that started to fall. Her face had a mixture of disappointment, pain, and anger. _

_ Arnold sat there dumbfounded, his mouth agape, utterly shocked. He quickly peeled his eyes off of her and thought, 'she doesn't regret breaking my heart? And so what if I'm innocent? Maybe I am just not ready for that stuff yet? Oh who am I kidding, of course I am...But I am just not interested in Hannah in that way. I do love her but i don't really want to do anything more than the very basics of a relationship with her..why is that? She does kinda have a point...if I love her, shouldn't I want to prove it to her? And I guess she is right, I am not always focused on kissing her like I should be. That's not how I felt when I kissed..Helga.' I quickly pushed that thought away though. 'I had to say something to Hannah. But what do I even say? I'm sorry? You shouldn't have cheated? Get lost? Ugh nothing sounds right.' I looked at her finally meeting her eyes again. She still looked hurt but also satisfied? Like she wanted to see me hurt and confused over this. I can't explain it but the look was there, an omnipresent look in her eyes. _

_ I took a deep breath and without really thinking, I blurted out the first thing I could think of, "It probably made you feel hurt. Lost. Unloved. I'm sorry, I guess i wish I had done a better job proving my love to you."_

_ She got a mischievous grin on her face and said, "Alright you want to prove it? You can now!" And before I could react, her lips were on mine, kissing me hungrily. I slowly reciprocated the kiss but all of a sudden, it felt wrong. Kissing her suddenly made me feel...sick. Like I knew I shouldn't be. Like I knew that somewhere deep down, I didn't want to kiss her. Like I wanted to kiss someone else...Helga. The FTi incident. That memory flashed in my mind, turning my blood cold and bringing a tingling, bright red blush to my cheeks. I was stunned to even be picturing that old memory. Suddenly I snapped back to reality as I felt Hannah reach down and start to undo my belt. I panicked and quickly jumped away from her._

_ I turned my eyes towards her, glaring at her coldly. I felt my anger coursing through me as I shouted, "Stop! I can't do this anymore! You know I'm not ready for this! You hurt me that night at the party and you just hurt me now! You have no respect for my boundaries, I know what you really wanted to gain out of this meeting. You wanted me to feel bad for what I have not done in the past, you wanted to guilt me into taking you back and doing more than i am ready for! It's not going to happen not now, not ever! Just leave me alone, I want nothing to do with you anymore!"_

_ Hannah's expression turned from surprised to angry as she threw her hands up in the air and shouted, "fine! I'm done! You obviously don't love me if you can't prove it to me and you can't compromise! And boundaries? I know for a fact part of you wants to break them, just not with me obviously! Go back to that first girl, the one who confessed to you on a rooftop and then denied it and left you! Go hurt her too, you may as well. I don't want anything to do with you either! Jerk!" If she said anything else, I wouldn't know because I had already turned and ran away, upset as could be._

_I made it home and pushed past my grandpa, who had been about to ask me something, and I ran up the stairs and locked myself in my room. Hot, angry tears spilled down my cheeks. I was mad that I let myself kiss her, that I feel for her stupid tricks again and got hurt. Oddly enough, I was also mad that she insulted Helga. Even if she was my first kiss and she did move away, she didn't hurt me. This was the first time the memory had ever resurfaced in broad daylight, since the memory normally exists only in my dreams. The recurring memory with Helga had me confused than ever..._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

As my memory of that day faded away, I rolled over for the billionth time tonight. I checked the clock. 1:03. Great. I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. Trying to distract myself that I had to get up in a few hours, I started questioning the recurrence of the FTi incident. 'What could it mean? It doesn't mean I miss her does it? I haven't seen or spoken to her in years, ever since she moved. I wonder what she looks like now. I wonder if she still wears that pink bow, or the color pink since she always looked nice in it...wait did I just think Helga looked nice in something? Woah. Weird. Although I do wonder if she mellowed out at all, the few rare times that I saw her let down her walls, she was really nice and sweet and even loveable. Not to mention her wide, ocean blue eyes that always looked adorable when she was surprised. What am I thinking..? Wow I must be tired. Last thing I want to do tonight is try and figure out the confession, that's just too confusing to think about. She moved away anyways, so why even think about it? It's not like it matters anyways. The less I know about my feelings towards the confession, towards her...the better. Especially with what Hannah just did to me...Suddenly, the idea of loving someone again scares the living daylights out of me. I never want to be hurt again, the heartbreak Hannah caused me was too hard. I don't trust love, I am terrified of it. I had to work all summer and spend as much as possible with the guys trying to keep my mind off of it and build up walls to protect myself. But now I have to go back to school and I know I am going to see her. I just hope I can handle it...I thought as my thoughts began to blur and I finally drifted off to sleep...

**A/N If you have any suggestions for me, please let me know! Keep reading :) You guys are the best!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N Hope you guys liked that Chapter! Know I said in the prologue that it would go right into senior year but I had to put a little build up first, so I just spilt the bigger chapter into two smaller ones! :) Now he really is the first day of Arnold's Senior Year that is destined to be full of surprises :) Enjoy**

Suddenly, I shot up out of bed. I was drenched in a cold sweat and my breathing was fast and short. The memory of what woke me flooded back in a rush. The confession dream. Again. Only this time, it was more vivid and realistic than it had been felt in years. I literally felt as though I was reliving the memory, like she had just kissed me all over again. My stomach knotted up and a chill ran up my spine just thinking about how real that dream had been. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, glancing over at the clock which read 6:10. Well I guess since I'm already awake I may get up. I stumbled over to my closest and threw on clothes for my first day and gathered my school supplies into my backpack. I brushed my teeth and tried to fix my unruly hair but with no luck. I walked downstairs and grabbed an apple for breakfast. Gerald was coming by to pick me up, but I still had a few minutes to wait. After a few minutes of slowly munching on my apple I texted him asking him where he was.

**Arnold: Hey where are you at?**

**Gerald: Sorry I'm just leaving Phoebe's. I thought she needed a ride but when I got there she said she had to meet up with someone this morning and a ride was not needed. Be there soon!**

**Arnold: Huh weird, Okay hurry up then!**

**Gerald: Oh I will man, don't worry!**

Finally Arnold heard a honk, grabbed his stuff and ran out to Gerald's car. "Hey Gerald."

"Hey man. Wow you look tired what's wrong?"

Arnold just started out the window and replied "Oh nothing but a weird dream keeping me up."

"A weird dream? Who about?"

"Promise not to say a word to anyone?"

"Of course man, you know me!"

"True. okay it was about...Helga."

Did you just say Helga? As in Helga G. Pataki? Your enemy? The one who hated you but also claimed she loved you and kissed you on the old FTi building and moved away?"

"Yep that one. I have been having flashbacks, mostly dreams but now recently in the daytime too. The dream I had was the flashback only it was much more intense. Like I was literally relieving the moment. It was much more vivid than the other dreams about it were. So I basically got no sleep last night."

"Oh wow man, that's rough! I'm sorry. Maybe last night's dream meant something. What are your feelings for Helga anyways?"

"Maybe..and does it matter? She moved away. I haven't seen her in years. Plus I just got my heart broken. I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of liking someone else.."

"Right..I guess that makes sense. Well I had to ask at least. Well we are here, ready for the start of our last year here?"

"Ready as I will ever be I guess. Alright, let's go in"

Both boys grabbed their backpacks and started to head inside, the boys were on their way to homeroom when Arnold saw a sight that made his heartache. Hannah, she looked pretty as ever and she was holding hands with Curly standing by his locker. She laughed as something he said and she saw Arnold staring at her and quickly looked away. She closed Curly's locker, leaned in to whisper something and he kissed her on the cheek as if reassuring her. They turned around and walked away. Gerald looked at his gloomy friend and grabbed his wrist. "Come on man, ignore them. You're going to be fine and you don't need her." Arnold resisted at first but let Gerald pull him into homeroom and quickly sat down behind a blond haired girl. Gerald leaned over and tried to assure him once again that it would be fine. "Don't worry about her okay? She hurt you, she will only hurt Curly too. I know you loved her man but it's over. Focus on school this year and who knows? Maybe you will find a different girl in time." I nodded, 'You're right I guess. Who needs her? I have you and the guys and Phoebe. Speaking of Phoebe, I wonder who she had to meet this morning." Gerald nodded replying, "Me too. I know she isn't in our homeroom though, but I have math with her next and I will have to ask." The blonde girl in front of me gasped quietly and I realized she had been listening to our entire conversation. I looked at Gerald and he looked to me then to the blonde in question. I tapped on her shoulder and spoke up, "hey I'm Arnold. And this is Gerald over there What's your name?" she half turned around, her hair covering most of her face. Something about her looked familiar...The golden blond hair, the bright blue eyes..ocean blue eyes actually..wait.. "Helga?!" She nodded and said softly, "Hey football head, hey Gerald. What's up?"

Gerald looked as shocked as I felt as we both gasped, "You're back? When? Why? How?"

She laughed and replied, "Yes I'm back, doi! I got back about two weeks ago, we came back for my dads job, and we drove. Any more questions?"

"Actually yes, how is your home life?" I asked.

"Better. Bob doesn't work as much and got anger management, so he's getting better. Miram is three years sober thanks to AA and she actually has a job for once. Olga is married now with a kid on the way but at least my parents are aware that I exist too now. It's getting better."

"That's great! You seem a lot more mellow and happier. It's nice to see you like that.." I said blushing slightly. Gerald saw this and got an idea, "Hey Helga, maybe you could join Arnold and Pheebs and I this weekend, we were going to the arcade and maybe to hit up a movie. Interested?"

"Actually yes that would be great, thanks tall-hair boy." She turned and noticed Arnold staring at her. She suddenly felt self conscious as she exclaimed, "What are you staring at football head? Take a picture it will last longer!" she winked and turned around. I was left speechless. All I could think is that she looked really pretty. Her blonde hair had gotten longer, and her blue eyes had grown bluer. She had grown more into her facial features, and she still had the unibrow, it just was a little thinner. She had traded in her trademark pink dress and bow for a gray beanie, a long sleeve pink and purple sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans that showed off her long legs quite nicely. On her feet were pink and blue tennis shoes. All I could think was, 'Wow, she gorgeous!' Gerald looked over at me and shook his head. He knew it right then, I liked Helga. Not that I wanted to admit it though.

The rest of the day was stressful as I had History with Hannah, and had to continue seeing her being all lovey-dovey with Curly. It made me feel sick to my stomach but it didn't give me the same sadness it had the first time I had seen them together. On my way out to meet Gerald, I saw he was talking to Phoebe and..Helga. My heart jumped seeing her again. She looked amazing. I slowed walked up to them but suddenly I tripped. I heard laughter as I heard Helga exclaim, "Oh hair-boy, still as clumsy as ever huh? Criminy! Here let me help you up" she held out her hand and I hesitantly grabbed it, the moment her I felt her skin against mine, a shiver ran up my spine. "Umm thanks H-Helga." "Don't mention it. Come on Phoebe, shall we go? I need help setting my room up!" Phoebe giggled and said, "Sure thing! Gerald could you give Helga and I a ride to her place?" "Sure babe, I can do that" he said smiling as he took some of her books and gestured for the group to follow. I headed off in the other direction in a daze, "my grandpa was picking me up today so i couldn't ride with them. I kinda felt sad, almost felt disappointed that i couldn't go with them. I wanted to talk to Helga more, see what else has been going on in her life. Oh well. Maybe this weekend, I thought as I climbed into Grandpa's car.

"Hey Shortman how was your day?"

"Not too bad Grandpa. I saw Hannah again but I just tried to ignore her and avoid her as much as I could."

"Well that's good! You were smiling pretty big when we walked over here, what else happened today?"

"Oh..Helga's back. I haven't seen her since she left back in forth grade. It was nice seeing her I guess."

"Is Helga the girl with the pink bow and one eyebrow, who loved you?

"Yes..wait how do you know she loved me?"

"Trust me Shortman, I went through what you did at her age. I always had a girl picking on me and then she told me it was because she loved me. Did this girl ever tell you that?"

I blushed.. "Yeah...she did. During the whole FTi incident. She kissed me and everything. But then she moved away and I haven't seen or talked to her in years so I doubt she still loves me."

"You never know, she still could."

"I doubt it Grandpa. Besides what if she does? I was hurt once, I don't want to hurt her. I don't like her like that. I like her as a friend. I mean okay she is really pretty now, not that she wasn't before but she is more so now..and she has mellowed out and she didn't yell at me once today. We have English and Art together, so that will help us become better friends I guess.."

"Uh huh sounds good Shortman. Whatever you say."

"Grandpa! That's my line!"

After we arrived home I went up to my room and flopped onto my bed, lost in thought. Helga was back! Maybe his dream last night was trying to tell him that she was coming back. But in the dream we kissed again..do I want to kiss her again or something? Do I like her? I don't even know. I still miss Hannah. Or I think I do.

One thing's for sure though, I have never felt quite this confused in my entire life...

**A/N Hope you guys are enjoying! Please read and review :)**


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